On Starting Slow
Rejoining society is a real bitch. I cleaned 2 Airbnbs and most every second of it was torture.
I hate to have that kind of attitude. But if it is the truth I should call a spade a spade, right? Those who don't struggle with their mental health prefer that you lie to yourself daily and believe the lie. In my opinion organized religion is just one of those lies that gets the otherwise suicidal through the day and I find that incredibly sad.
I still feel like I'm wearing a led vest. I'm floating now, nothing to do really, too exhausted to try anything more.
I don't even think about what I would do if I felt normal anymore, it's too antagonizing. Why worry about things that are out of reach? So I don't.
Not people, not things.
Speaking of which, it seems like if you can't reach a person, then it's kismet anyway, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not lonely, rather, I KNOW I'm alone. I'm the odd man out, the burden the annoyance, the whiner, the one who doesn't feel well. Why bring that into anyone else's life? Truly, I think it's selfish.
Tired of being known as the sad one. The weird one. No lyrics lady. I want to say fuck it, but of course I won't not today. Today I'm just going to take a nap and wake up in a better mood. Far away from the low-key bullshit people always pull as well as the universe.
Stay wøke.