- Starting to feel your mind drift to the negative over the course of days or hours in a drastic way.
- Having a small event happen that pisses you off terribly, you feel hopeless so you cry.
- You lash out at your loved ones for getting on your nerves because usually they are stupid and inconsiderate.
- You have no patience for people who are selfish or who have something to say about your bipolar. (That's not really a meltdown symptom, that's more like a trigger)
- Feeling so exhausted that your limbs feel like they're made out of lead. A little known condition called leaden paralysis which doctors usually have NO IDEA about when I mention it to them.
- Leaden paralysis can last for days or weeks. It's hard to get out of bed. It's hard to stand in the shower, it's hard not to cry silently while you wait for this shit to be over.
- Feeling abnormally cold constantly. Not only are you cold, you're pissed off about it. Because you just can't get comfortable, yet again. (What a big surprise right?)
- You have less patience with kids. I find it incredibly annoying when a rude / disrespectful kid switches my mood. I understand kids are kids and they say what they want to, but sometimes there should be a few consequences when you ruin someone's week.
- If you do have to go somewhere, or you're forced to go somewhere, you're miserable the whole time, you may have homicidal thoughts about people you see out in public, you may say loud remarks in hopes to get a rise out of people because all you want to do is fight.
- If you're in a manic depressive meltdown, I find I listen to music a lot. My lyrics are dark and nasty but no less true whether I am depressed or neutral or in a mixed state.
- Having social things scheduled for you without your permission sets you off.
- Having to take a shower sets you off.
- Remembering you forgot to brush your teeth 3 days ago and ever since sets you off.
- You disgust yourself and everything around you disgusts you.
- Chainsmoking doesn't help if you can make it out of bed to even try.
- Drugs don't help even more than they normally don't help.
- There is no comfort, there's only pain and suffering.
- You dredge up every account you can think of of how much you suffered before, and this makes you extremely angry.
- You scattered the internet for answers only to find the same 10 symptoms about such a complex fucking disease that it makes you sick. You notice how much shit they leave out, how many things are unmentioned, and you realize you have absolutely no way to gain knowledge about your situation.
- When you calmly face the fact that bipolar cannot be cured or barely controlled by any kind of doctor, that makes you angry and you lash out about that. When people challenge the idea that of course bipolar can be cured, you laugh at them bitterly and think about how stupid they are.
- You write things like this because you have nothing else to do with this anger.
- You find something to obsess over because you can't fucking stand to just sit there and be alone with yourself. Without a distraction you are suicidal.
- Did I mention that everything makes you mad?
- You don't want to bother with your friends, and you don't want your obsession interrupted.
- You have less tolerance for answering stupid questions that waste your time.
- You pace around a lot. You sit down a lot, you stand up a lot, you change your location a lot around the house, trying to find some semblance of peace, but I think we both know it's to no avail.
- You won't touch a relationship with a 10-ft pole because everyone you come in contact with tells you that you're not well. You're not stable. No shit Sherlock. So you stay away because you don't want to ruin other people's lives with your bullshit.
- This is another trigger, but it can start a bipolar meltdown in my case, --being told that all of my feelings that are inconvenient for whoever I'm speaking with is a product of my bipolar disorder, not my true feelings as a human being, because once you have bipolar you're no longer looked at as a human being I promise. People look at you like a fucking stupid kid who happens to be grown. In fact they give the kids word more thought than yours because you're crazy right.
