I hate to get my hopes up especially when it's not warranted. I feel horrible, but in a normal way. If that makes any sense. Kind of. I don't think this struggle is normal though.
Still, going to McDonald's to satisfy a craving wore me out (5 miles away). Still, a shower and applying any kind of makeup is a huge ordeal. Still, I skip washing my hair and sit down in the shower a lot.
I couldn't tell you the last time I shaved my legs. All this, and I still wonder if I've reached a normal mood. Is this normal?
I don't think it is. But maybe the struggle to normalcy will be harder for me. This huge regret and shame hangs over me asking "are you still trying or have you given up?" And the real truth is, I don't know.